Midlife

It's a shit show but it's also
The clearance sale on bullshit, beauty scams, and expectations

Welcome to your power era.

Clarity, humour and practical conversations for women navigating identity shifts, body changes and the strange freedom that comes with finally seeing things clearly.

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Your body has changed and you don't understand how or what
to do

You want to understand what’s happening from real women with real experiences

Things you once accepted suddenly feel… questionable and you're a little angry

You feel sharper but less tolerant than you used to which is exciting and scary

You suspect midlife might actually be the beginning of something
better

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I collaborate with brands, organisations and communities to create conversations and content that genuinely resonate with midlife women.

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Tools for Midlife

Practical resources, insights and conversations to help you understand what’s changing and how to navigate it with more confidence and less confusion.

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Longer reflections and deeper thinking on midlife, identity, power and what it means to rebuild a life that actually fits.

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Live gatherings, conversations and shared experiences for women who want connection, laughter and honest discussions about midlife.

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The Bright Life Project community includes thousands of women navigating midlife with curiosity, honesty and humour.

Tarryn’s content reaches over 200,000 followers across social media, sparking conversations about identity, health, visibility and power in midlife.

Bright Life Project has also collaborated with brands, health experts and organisations interested in supporting women through this life stage.

Midlife is where you stop writing essays and start issuing statements. “Fuck no.” saves you from repetition and unnecessary conversation.

There’s something very powerful about saying things out loud. Not journalling them. Not thinking them. Saying them. It cuts through overthinking, people-pleasing, and that endless midlife mental load of trying to manage everyone and everything.

Perimenopause doesn’t just shift your hormones. It strips your tolerance for nonsense. This is the upgrade. Clearer boundaries, faster decisions, and a much lower capacity for things that drain you.

Five phrases. Better life.

A lot of men still think “providing” means bringing in money or being tired at the end of the day. Meanwhile, the actual question in most homes is much simpler: do you see what needs doing, and do you step in without being asked?

This isn’t about blame. It’s about evolution. Protecting your partner doesn’t look like it used to. It looks like sharing the load, reading the room, and supporting her through hormonal shifts that are very real, very physical, and very under-discussed. Because when a woman in perimenopause feels supported instead of stretched thin, everything changes. Her energy, her patience, her capacity… and yes, the relationship too. This is what modern love looks like.

Perimenopause is a wild little phase where your body decides to become inconsistent, destabilising, and completely uninterested in following any predictable pattern. One day you feel normal. The next you’ve got no sleep, no energy, mood swings, brain fog, and a personality you don’t fully recognise. Same life… very different capacity to handle it.

It makes you doubt yourself, move your own goalposts, and work around something that won’t stay the same. Then you’re told everything is “normal” and maybe you just need to be more resilient.

This is perimenopause. Hormones shifting, nervous system under pressure, and women trying to function through it with very little support or clear guidance.

You’re not imagining it. You’re not overreacting. And you’re definitely not the problem.

There’s a moment in midlife where you start to think something’s gone wrong. You don’t tolerate what you used to. You don’t laugh on cue. You don’t rush in to smooth things over. It feels unfamiliar, so your first instinct is to question yourself.

For a long time, being likeable meant being flexible, agreeable, easy to manage. It meant anticipating other people’s reactions and adjusting accordingly. When that starts to fall away, it can feel like you’re becoming difficult. In reality, you’re becoming honest.

Clarity can feel like loss when you’ve been rewarded for self-abandonment. It can feel isolating when you stop participating in things that require you to shrink. It can also be the beginning of something much better.

The shift isn’t about becoming hard or uncaring. It’s about redirecting your energy toward people and places where you don’t have to perform to belong. Connection doesn’t disappear. It just becomes more selective, and a lot more real.

Sometimes the “fix” is far simpler than expected. Go where you’re loved, leave when you’re bored, and stop babysitting adults. The rest tends to sort itself out.

I understand why you want to hang onto those jeans. That’s because it’s not about the jeans. They were reliable. They “worked”. They held everything in and made you feel pulled together even when life wasn’t. You knew the formula. No thinking required. So being told to just let them go feels… aggressive. But your body has moved on. Your patience has moved on. And those jeans are now less “outfit” and more “structural challenge”.

So here’s the deal: They had a good run. We thank them for their service. If sitting down feels like a high-risk activity… it’s time. Your eyes are just calibrated to 2012, that’s why everything else looks wrong.
Try something new anyway. Your calves deserve freedom. if you MUST keep one pair DO NOT WEAR THEM, they are just for emotional support.

Welcome to your 40’s. A little heads up: Less noise. Better choices. Stronger boundaries. Fewer people, but the right ones.
And somewhere in all of that… you realise this might actually be the best chapter yet. Also, yes. The skinny jeans had to go.

Your brain isn’t broken, it’s just outdated software. It was built to scan for danger, not peace. So of course it flags everything as a threat but midlife brings an upgrade. You start realising not everything is a tiger…
Some things are just people you were never meant to take seriously and once you see it, you can’t unsee it.

Half sold out. This isn’t another “sit and listen” event. It’s an evening reset for women who are done guessing what’s happening to their bodies. Real conversations. Expert speakers. Actual tools to figure out where you’re at and what to do next. And a room full of women who get it.
If you’ve been thinking about it… this is your sign. Tickets are moving.
@tanyadalehealth @the_midlife_psychologist @elsa_mitchell_ @menomora.nz

They say a change is as good as a holiday. Which explains why I’m feeling emotionally abroad right now. Hairdressers really just out here improving global happiness levels. And if you don’t like it… don’t stress. I didn’t do it for you.

He’s not struggling to find women, he’s struggling to be chosen by women who don’t need him. For a long time, being a “good provider” was enough not because it was exceptional, but because women weren’t allowed to provide for themselves. Now they can, the question shifts from what do you offer to why would someone choose you and that’s where things get uncomfortable. If your value relies on someone else having less, that’s not partnership, that’s leverage and women are increasingly opting out of that deal.

“Men built everything. “ That only makes sense to people who ignore the structure underneath it. For most of history, women weren’t absent from labour, innovation, or progress. They were embedded in it. Supporting it. Sustaining it. Often doing the work that made all other work possible. It was all labour. ONLY SOME of it was recognised.
When women did push into education, careers, leadership… it wasn’t because the door was open. It was because they forced it.
That’s the part that gets left out of the “men built everything” story. Not just the invisible work but the resistance required to be seen at all.
This isn’t about diminishing what men have built. It’s about seeing and recognising the whole picture.

After watching Inside the Manosphere by Louis Theroux, what stayed with me wasn’t outrage. It was how fragile the performances of masculinity often look when they’re examined closely. The documentary quietly exposes how some of these figures build entire identities around dominance, certainty and control. But the more those identities are performed, the more they start to look like characters rather than real people. And those characters become products, sold to young men who are often struggling with fear of irrelevance, inadequacy or loneliness. That’s why I created my response video Inside the Femisphere. When you flip the logic and apply the same arguments to women, the structure starts to wobble and the contradictions become obvious.
Ironically, the power these men seek is hiding in what they avoid: meeting women as equals, co-creating relationships where everyone’s got agency. The irony dissolves when men realise that true intimacy, where neither party is servant nor master, is actually the most powerful fortress against loneliness. In the end equality might be the most solid ground of all.

Only available for people in Australia to keep postage costs down. Please only put your hand up for it if you are new to perimenopause and feel like you would get a lot out of this.

Not my proudest moment but a lesson learned worth sharing. Now before anyone criticises Pull-Your-Head-In Petra and says I need to “be kinder to myself”… Petra is kindness. She just doesn’t arrive with a soft voice and a cup of tea. She kicks the door open, shuts down the nonsense, and makes me actually look at what I’m doing. She’s the part of me that loves me enough to go,
“No. We’re not doing that.”
Because that reflex to pick apart another woman when she’s doing well? That’s not personality. That’s socialisation. Old programming. Still running in the background. And the more you catch it, interrupt it, and reframe it… the weaker it gets.
Think “build”, always build

A mockumentary commentary inspired by Louis Theroux: Inside the Manosphere. Borrowing the calm, curious interviewing tone of Louis Theroux, this satirical video flips the script on some of the arguments explored in Inside the Manosphere. I wanted to flip the logic used in parts of the manosphere to show how ridiculous it sounds when the same arguments are simply reversed. Using the language of “biology,” “evolution,” and “natural roles,” we conduct a very serious investigation into a controversial theory: that men may have evolved primarily to assist women. Evidence reviewed includes jar opening, furniture moving, and emotional volatility during sport.

Sometimes the easiest way to expose bad logic… is to hold up a mirror. @officiallouistheroux

@geo.rga I may have confused a few young people today but I’ll leave you to deal with it. Love you queen! ❤️

When you start removing every “too much” layer from a person. Eventually you’re left with something very easy to consume… and completely forgettable. The truth is, when someone asks you to tone yourself down, they’re usually not asking you to become better. They’re asking you to become easier.

You were never meant to be a plain biscuit.

The people who appreciate flavour will always find you.

I was 38 when I started symptoms for per menopause and by the time I was 40 I was feeding like this woman. It still took another two years to diagnose the period menopause, that’s four years. I could’ve made terrible decisions in my life. had I not had the sense that something was wrong and I should probably hold on. Please go find a hormone specialist, not just any GP, it must be a hormone specialist to get help if you’re feeling like this

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Perimenopause is one hell of a chaotic software update for your body. One day everything is running smoothly, the next day the battery life is terrible, the sleep function has disappeared, the rage feature is activating randomly, and new “features” like chin hairs and brain fog have quietly been added to the system. The frustrating part is that most of us aren’t warned this update is coming, so we assume something is wrong with us. Nothing is wrong with you.
Perimenopause is a real biological transition driven by changing hormones. The good news is you are not alone, you are not losing your mind, and there are actually ways to support your body through it once you know what’s going on. Also good news: the rage feature can be extremely useful when it comes to setting boundaries.
Welcome to the update.

Midlife women are done whispering about perimenopause. So we’re hosting a night to talk about it properly. Midlife Women Gone Wild
Perth | 28April
Real conversations. Brilliant speakers. A room full of women who actually get it.
Tickets are now on sale and we’ve capped it at 80 women so it stays intimate. If this sounds like your kind of chaos… join us.
@the_midlife_psychologist @elsa_mitchell_ @tanyadalehealth

Fairy tales told us the goal was to be rescued but what happens when a woman builds her own tower, fills her life with peace, independence, friends, purpose and the kind of love that doesn’t need saving? Suddenly the prince climbing the wall doesn’t look heroic. He looks… confused. Maybe the problem was never Rapunzel’s hair. Maybe it was the assumption that it existed for someone else to climb

Perimenopause has a funny side effect no one talks about much. Clarity. For decades many women were socially and hormonally conditioned to smooth things over, laugh things off, carry the invisible load and call it love. Then perimenopause arrives and the fog lifts. Suddenly the things that once seemed harmless or “just how it is” start looking a lot like imbalance and when women finally say something about it, the reaction is often that she has changed but the truth is, the imbalance was there the whole time.

Calling it out isn’t cruelty. Asking for fairness isn’t unreasonable. Wanting a real partner instead of another person to manage isn’t radical.
Perimenopause doesn’t have to destroy marriages. In many cases it can actually improve them, because it forces honesty that should have existed all along. The marriages that survive this stage are usually the ones where men are willing to grow alongside their partners. Not become superheroes. Just become fully participating adults in the life they share.
Here’s the bigger cultural piece, we keep hearing about the loneliness epidemic among men. At the same time there are countless women saying the same thing: we’re not asking for perfection. We’re asking for partnership. You don’t have to be extraordinary. Just be present, responsible, emotionally aware and willing to carry your share of the load. There is an entire world of women who would happily build a life with an average man who shows up. But the era where women quietly carry everything while being told they’re “too much” for asking for balance is ending.

Perimenopause didn’t create the problem. It just helped us see it clearly.

A lot of women did not marry partners, they onboarded long term interns. So just wondering for them, where the promotion pathway is?

POV: You’re the CEO but your senior leadership team consists of caffeine, unstable tech, dopamine and something soft you cling to for emotional regulation.

We weren’t powerful in our twenties. We were visible. There’s a difference. If your “power” depended on being chosen, desired or approved of… that wasn’t power. It was permission.
Midlife doesn’t take anything real from you. It removes the illusion.
And I refuse to grieve a cage and call it empowerment.

Whoever installed this system needs a performance review.
Perimenopause is when oestrogen starts fluctuating in your 40s. Oestrogen supports your brain’s operating system: memory, emotional regulation, temperature control, stress buffering.
When it swings, so does everything else.
• Rage installs itself
• Memory deletes without warning
• You overheat mid sentence
• Battery drops to 2 percent by 4pm

This isn’t a personality crisis. It’s hormonal instability affecting neurological function.
Same woman.
Unstable software.
Still expected to run the household.

It’s amazing how quickly the world assumes rivalry when two women refuse to shrink. As if strength can only exist in one body at a time.
We don’t have to believe that story anymore. Strong women are not each other’s threat. We’re each other’s leverage.
Maybe it’s time we stand together instead of fulfilling a script that was never written for our benefit.

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I can’t believe this whole time I’ve been manually loading and unloading the dishwasher.
Manually putting clothes in the basket.
Manually taking the bin out.
When apparently… all I needed
was a pair of men’s glasses.
Turns out the house runs itself.
You just have to adjust your vision.

Ad | Gifted by Salty Crush | Salty Crush just sent me five tops to try on… and we’re doing a little experiment.

I’m going to style them first.
Then my friend is going to style the exact same pieces.

Same tops.
Two very different women.

You already know the vibe.
I’m the tomboy who spent most of her life side-eyeing anything “too feminine.”
She’s the unapologetic girly girl.

Let’s see which way you lean.

Over the last few years I’ve been exploring my feminine energy. I rejected it for a long time. I thought I had to operate like a man to get taken seriously. Turns out… that was exhausting.

Perimenopause had other plans. It forced me to realise feminine energy isn’t weak. It’s powerful. Different power. But power.

So playing with style has become part of that exploration.

Salty Crush definitely leans feminine, which has made this even more interesting for me.

If you want to jump in early, use BLP15 for 15% off.
And then come back and tell me…

Team Tomboy?
Or Team Girly Girl?

During perimenopause and menopause, oestrogen levels fluctuate and then decline. Oestrogen isn’t just about periods and fertility. It plays a huge role in vaginal tissue health.

Oestrogen keeps vaginal tissue:

• Thick and elastic
• Well lubricated
• Well supplied with blood flow
• Balanced in pH so healthy bacteria can thrive

When oestrogen drops, the tissue becomes thinner, drier, more fragile and more easily irritated. The pH changes. The microbiome shifts. That can feel like burning, itching, tearing, recurrent “UTIs” or symptoms that mimic thrush.

But it’s not an infection.
It’s hormone-related.

That condition is often called vaginal atrophy or genitourinary syndrome of menopause. And it’s common. Very common.

Local vaginal oestrogen works directly on the tissue. It helps restore thickness, improve lubrication, support healthy bacteria and strengthen the tissue again. It’s low dose, targeted, and not the same as systemic HRT.

If you feel like you’re constantly treating infections that never quite resolve, please consider that it might not be thrush at all.

Talk to a GP who understands menopause care. Your vagina deserves hormones too.

I’m a very visual person so these things happen to me all the time. In fact I feel like half of my life I am translating what’s in my head from pictures to words. I understand so much in metaphors and visuals that it makes sense my brain would create this bizarre image. Anyway, do with it what you will. I guess the important message is that menopause can be so much better than perimenopause but from what I’ve heard you’ve gotta do the work in the perimenopause stage for that to be so.

I have no interest in shaming women for caring about how they look. I care too.
I just feel a pang when I hear another woman hanging something as important as her self worth on her reflection. We’ve been taught to do that. Repeatedly. Quietly. For years.
If your mental health feels tied to your appearance, that makes sense in a world that trained us to believe our value lives there. But we are so much more than that. You deserve peace and stability that isn’t dependent on lighting, youth or symmetry. You seem beautiful inside lady, that’s where YOU live and that’s where your self worth lives ❤️.

A possible discussion about perimenopause between two teen girls with a very wishful end for a perimenopausal mom. One can dream.

I am not sponsored by any of these products and am not a skin specialist, this is just what works for me. I also use @mesh.laboratory once a fortnight for a deeper exfoliation and mask (leaves your skin feeling amazing). At night I add an oil by @everlii_aus @lancomeofficial @dermaltherapy

If your mum has been acting… slightly unhinged lately, this might explain it.
She’s not “being dramatic.”
Her hormones are basically doing a factory reset while she’s still expected to run the whole house.
Perimenopause = low battery, overheating, random glitches.
Watch this before you start another argument.

The perimenopause experience. Good and bad news

Have you ever felt pressured to follow through on something just because it “chose” you?
It is truly wonderful being lucky, 99% of the time.

You know when you find a good hairdresser, you gotta hang onto that shit. I found Ryan just before Covid and loved the way he cut. I went to him a few times and then Covid hit and I couldn’t find him for two years. I searched and eventually found him again and haven’t looked back. He is incredible with short hair, his cats are just perfection. I love how experimental and unafraid he is. @geo.rga @ryanwaughhair_stylist

No hate to the company I went through, just sharing my experience. I don’t know how successful I would have been through another company but I do know how good my teeth looked after braces and I had no teeth shaved down. My friend is happy with her results and she also went through Linea

Brains are incredible. Just one memory or sentence and they respond with unsolicited karaoke that you can’t get out if your head. Try having a conversation with that happening at full volume.

@annamarkelgl I humbly apologise. Thanks for being so gracious with my apology. It’s highlighting how important it is to check meaning before jumping to a conclusion and going into a battle that doesn’t exist. I accused you of taking down other women while doing that myself, only a dick does that. I accept my dickness in that moment and shall undick myself

If this made you feel a little seen, or a little unsettled, that makes sense.
A lot of women hit perimenopause and suddenly feel like their brain isn’t theirs anymore. Faster. Louder. Harder to manage. And if no one’s ever put words around that for you, it can feel frightening.
This is why we talk to each other. Not to diagnose. Not to panic. Just to share what’s happening, compare notes, and realise this is something many women go through.
You’re okay. You’re not failing. And you’re definitely not alone in this.
Keep talking. Keep asking questions. Other woman are your best source of support.

Ahhh, the weekend. A time for unpaid labour and pondering the very meaning of your existence. What the hell this is all for and why your feet hurt so much. Factor in menopause and even hanging washing becomes a psychological event. Some people relax. Some go to the beach and others organise a pity party and invite the internet. Your sympathy is much appreciated.

Simple maths
The problem
We’re being told there’s a loneliness epidemic, falling birth rates, and a “relationship crisis”. It’s framed like a mysterious cultural collapse. No one knows why it’s happening. Everyone looks confused. Women get side-eyed for opting out.

The narrative
The story goes that women “changed”. Too picky. Too independent. Too selfish. Too influenced by feminism, TikTok, or therapy language. If women would just lower their standards, everything would magically stabilise again.

The reason
But most women didn’t leave relationships on a whim. They ran the numbers. When “together” started costing more than “alone” in energy, safety, labour, and self-respect, the decision stopped being emotional and became logistical. That’s not cruelty. That’s clarity.

The solution
This isn’t unfixable. It just requires looking in the right direction. The solution isn’t women doing less wanting. It’s men doing more being. Kindness. Usefulness. Emotional presence. Shared load. No theatrics required.

The syllabus
Be kind.
Be useful.
Be emotionally available.
Listen without defending.
Participate without being asked.
Treat partnership like a skill set, not a reward for existing.

That’s it. No mystery. No war. Just basic competencies.

Somewhere along the way we were taught that effort equals value. That if you’re not styled, smoothed, lifted or improved, you’re failing at womanhood.

I don’t buy that anymore. I’ll look good when I want to and how I want to

Perimenopause rage doesn’t come out of nowhere. It’s decades of being “fine” finally losing its mute button.

Most women don’t explode because they’re irrational. They explode because they were trained to stay quiet, over-accommodate, and keep the peace…without ever being given the language to stop things earlier.
So it bottles. Then one day it comes out at full volume, confusing everyone. Including us.

This isn’t about saying the unhinged part out loud. It’s about giving that part subtitles.
Clear, usable language that lets boundaries land early, calmly, and without self-betrayal.

Rage, but with a translation layer.
The phrases:
• I’m not taking feedback on a life you’re not living.
• I’ve retired from emotional overtime.
• Effort is baseline, not a special occasion.

——-

As a female empowerment advocate and coach, here are three shutdowns you can start using today that will shift your power from socially trained to self lead

1. Agency Shutdown

“I’m not taking feedback on a life you’re not living.”

Use this when you get an unsolicited opinion. It usually happens when somebody feels like they can impose their own values. Standards choices ideas about what life should look like on you. This phrase tells them you only accept invite opinions and that you decide what happens in your space. If they don’t like it, they can fuck off.

2. Peace Shutdown

“I’ve retired from emotional overtime.”

Use this when you’re about to say yes out of habit but then you do the cost analysis and realise there is no growth. No mutual effort no return on An or energy so you’re out.

Women choosing peace isn’t a personal attack, it’s a cost–benefit analysis.
If “together” feels heavier than “alone”, the maths isn’t mysterious. There’s no loneliness epidemic because women “changed”.
There’s one because too many men didn’t.
There is good news though, the Fixer so simple. Be kind. Be useful. Be emotionally present.

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Monitor your ketone levels to understand how your body is responding to different foods and drink

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let me know how you go on this, I'd love to know if others have the same success.

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My peri and menopause favourites on Amazon

Midlife

It's a shit show but it's also The clearance sale on bullshit, beauty scams, and expectations Welcome to your power era.

You might be here because...

Work with me

Tools for Midlife

Read

Events & Community

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Follow us on Instagram

Best Sellers

Get the good stuff

Follow me on TikTok or Instagram for the most up to date content

Products I use and stand by

Sibio CKM Monitor your ketone levels to understand how your body is responding to different foods and drink

Lumen Achieve metabolic flexibility, learn how your body burns fats and get a personalised meal plan

Synext Improve your energy and slow aging with this NAD+ supplement. It also helps with preventing migraines.

A game change for migraine sufferers & energy

(oh and anti aging)

NAD+

My peri and menopause favourites on Amazon

It's a shit show but it's also
The clearance sale on bullshit, beauty scams, and expectations

Welcome to your power era.

Sibio CKM
Monitor your ketone levels to understand how your body is responding to different foods and drink

Lumen
Achieve metabolic flexibility, learn how your body burns fats and get a personalised meal plan

Synext
Improve your energy and slow aging with this NAD+ supplement. It also helps with preventing migraines.